My name is Suki, my human is a writer, and this is about my world. The world according to Suki The Cat. My humans smell funny, look weird, and I can't understand a thing they say, but they feed me, so hey, what are you gonna do?
My brother Salem has been riding the catnip wave all day. His eyes are glazed over and he can’t even stand up right now. It’s humiliating. What if the Tabby next door comes by? Shit, I can’t have my little brother embarrassing me like this.
I decide to talk to him. “Salem, you can’t keep doing the “nip”. That shit will mess you up, man. You’re flopping around like a lunatic. Your mews are incoherent. You look like you haven’t licked your fur in days. It’s getting bad.”
He just rolls around rubbing his face against anything that moves. #HighAsAKite #CatNipJunkie Damn, I hope Tabby doesn’t come by when he’s like this. She’ll tell everyone. It’ll be all over the neighborhood. That bleeping Siamese down the street is blabbermouth. Crap, I got a rep to protect. I have to go find his stash and hide it. Freaking little brothers…
I jump onto the bed to take a little nap and I see my little brother Salem already sitting there looking annoyed. He glances at me and starts jabbering away like I invited him to or something. Sheesh.
“Shorthair thinks she’s so cool now that she’s working,” he rolls his eyes at me.
“What does she do?” I ask.
“She’s a therapy cat part-time now.” He glares over at me, “Big deal. I give our little humans therapy for free all the time.” His paw flails in the air and spit flies out at me when he says this.
He continues, “I listen. I never judge.” He places his paw on his chest, “When the little girl human wore plaid with stripes I didn’t mew a word, not a single word. And remember the perm of 2017? Did I hiss or scratch? No, I did not.”
“You’re a regular saint, you are,” I nod at him.
“Bet your tail I am.”
I decided it might be more peaceful in another room and start to leave. As I’m walking away I still hear rumblings.