My name is Suki, my human is a writer, and this is about my world. The world according to Suki The Cat. My humans smell funny, look weird, and I can't understand a thing they say, but they feed me, so hey, what are you gonna do?
My little brother Salem asked me one day, “Why did that guy Schrodinger put his cat in a box?”
“To show the absurdity that waves (particles) collapse only once observed.”
“So what makes them collapse?”
“They’ll figure it out once they hear that tree in the forest fall.”
Salem scratches his head, “I’ll bet there were treats in the box.”
I’m burying a Hot Wheels car in my litter box when my little brother Salem walks up.
“Why are you putting that in there?”
“Just keeping our human on her toes, that’s all.”
“Want to really screw with her? I know where the little human has a Baby Ruth candy bar!”
Our little human is cooking in the kitchen when our big human walks in.
“You made lunch?”
“Yep.”
“Wow, that’s the pan I used last night. You cleaned it first, right?”
“I didn’t have to, someone else already cleaned it.”
Salem puffs out his chest and awaits his praise for helping out. But for some reason he never gets it.
Salem and I are on the kitchen counter trying to see which objects will bounce when they hit the floor when he reaches for the tea pitcher.
“Stop!” I hold up my paw.
“Why?”
“You can’t knock the big stuff off until the little humans get home.”
“Ah, good thinking.” He knocks the mug off instead.
I walk up to my little brother Salem and hold out my left paw containing tuna treats and bitch slap him with my right paw.
“What’d you do that for?” he asks, rubbing his cheek.
“My right brain said ‘give him a treat’ but my left brain said ‘slap him’ and the left brain won.” I shrug my shoulders as I walk away, “Sorry. You can’t argue with neuroscience.”
My little brother, Salem, is sitting in the living room across from our human staring at her. I mean his eyes are boring into her good.
I just have to ask, “What are you doing?”
Without breaking eye contact he says, “My breakfast was twenty minutes late this morning and I’m thinking of ways to get even.”
I trot into the bedroom and see my little brother Salem laying on our human’s lap, belly up and purring like a kitten. This is not his usual aloof behavior so my curiosity is peaked.
I hop onto the bed and eye him closely, “What are you doing?”
He grins, “I peed on the floor earlier and she’s about to find out.”
