My human has been eating too many treats lately. Unlike me, she doesn’t have this beautiful fur coat to hide it. She’s currently trying to squeeze into a skirt and it ain’t going well. Wow, you can’t Spanx your way out of this one lady. #ThatSkirtIsNotYourFriend

I stop licking my fur so she won’t get jealous. I just need to exercise her more. I back up to the wall and raise my tail. She sees me and shrieks.