Salem’s Advice on Dating

I was picking through my treats for something nice to give to this cute feline I know when Salem interrupts.

“You’re not going to get a girl like that. Look, you’re too much of a gentleman.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re too nice. You compliment them, you give them your treats, that kind of thing. Chicks dig the bad boy.”

“I can be a bad boy. Remember last week when I used the litterbox and totally didn’t cover?”

“Oh yeah, we almost had to call animal control on that one,” he rolls his eyes. “Look, you have to be tough. Dangerous. They want to feel safe. You know, like you can protect them from dogs and spiders, things like that.” He waves his paw and looks around.

“Suki…? Where’d you go?”