Breakfast in Bed

Smelling food, I instinctively walk into the kitchen. One of the little humans is cooking. Umm, smells good.

I stop dead in my tracks. Glancing around I spot my sister Sasha and my little brother Salem nearby, “Hide!” I shout.

Once we are safely hidden, Salem turns to me, “Why are we hiding?”

In between pants, I reply, “One of the little humans is flipping pancakes with our litter box scoop.”

A grin spreads across Salem’s face, “But that isn’t our fault.”

“I know, but our human is almost done eating. Do you want to be around when she finds out?”

I Bet

Salem: “I bet I can jump on that countertop.”

Me: “I bet I can jump on that cabinet.”

Salem: “I bet I can jump on top of the cabinet.”

Two seconds later I am standing in a puddle of water, broken dishes and scattered utensils. I look around at the mess and scratch my head. “I bet I can jump on top of the refrigerator.”

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#FelineAA #RidingTheNip

My brother Salem has been riding the catnip wave all day. His eyes are glazed over and he can’t even stand up right now. It’s humiliating. What if the Tabby next door comes by? Shit, I can’t have my little brother embarrassing me like this.

I decide to talk to him. “Salem, you can’t keep doing the “nip”. That shit will mess you up, man. You’re flopping around like a lunatic. Your mews are incoherent. You look like you haven’t licked your fur in days. It’s getting bad.”

He just rolls around rubbing his face against anything that moves. #HighAsAKite #CatNipJunkie Damn, I hope Tabby doesn’t come by when he’s like this. She’ll tell everyone. It’ll be all over the neighborhood. That bleeping Siamese down the street is blabbermouth. Crap, I got a rep to protect. I have to go find his stash and hide it. Freaking little brothers…