For the Neuroscientists Out There

I walk up to my little brother Salem and hold out my left paw containing tuna treats and bitch slap him with my right paw.

“What’d you do that for?” he asks, rubbing his cheek.

“My right brain said ‘give him a treat’ but my left brain said ‘slap him’ and the left brain won.” I shrug my shoulders as I walk away, “Sorry. You can’t argue with neuroscience.”