More is More

I just purchased several cases of very expensive low-fat tuna. I am stacking them all up when Salem comes into the room.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Oh, I’ve decided to go on a diet.” I touch my little tummy, “I want to lose a few pounds.”

He looks at the rows of cans stacked three feet high and says, “Couldn’t you just eat less?”

I shake my head, “Why do you hate me?”

My Diary

Salem walks in while I’m writing in my journal and asks, “Is that your diary?”

“Yes, why?”

“It looks like a menu.” He takes a paw and points at an entry, “Tuesday: Kibble, Wednesday:Kibble, Thursday:Kibble, Kibble.”

“And your point?” I ask, blinking.

“Ok,” he scratches his head, “but why two Kibbles on Thursday?”

“Oh, that was the day I started my diet.”

“So then, why two?”

“I thought about eating the extra lean Kibble first, but then I decided not to. Instead, I rewarded myself with double Kibble for considering such a healthy choice in the first place.” I beam with pride, “Diet success depends on a good reward system. You wouldn’t understand.”