Hmpf!

My little brother Salem has been seeing a feline named Shorthair recently. I don’t know what she sees in him and not me. He drools and snores for Pete’s sake. What has he got that I haven’t? I look over at him, sleeping on the floor, with that stupid smug look on his face. I just want to smack it.

He just thinks he’s better than me now doesn’t he? I’ll bet they just sit around laughing at me. He probably tells her that I’m just his little servant. A loser kitty with fleas who can’t get a date. He probably jokes that dogs won’t even date me.

I cut my eyes at him sleeping over there like some kind of king. Who does he think he is anyway?

I start to walk away and as I pass by him he opens his eyes and asks, “Is dinner ready?”

I bitch slap him. “Dating has changed you.”