My human almost walked in on me with my copy of Cat Fancy magazine. Damn, that was close. I open it up and there are obvious drool spots all over Maine Coon on the centerfold.

“Salem! I’m going to kick your ass if you don’t leave my stuff alone!”

Shit, now I need to find a new hiding place. Maybe putting it under my cat bed wasn’t the slickest move. Freaking little brothers. If he got into my stash of catnip I’m going to go all cougar on his ass! #PlayKittyMagazineForThoseLonelyNightsInTheAlley