I’m packing up my stuffed mouse and some catnip when Salem walks up. “What are you doing? Are you going someplace?”
“I’m taking a vacation. I can’t take looking out that same window one more day. I need a change of scenery.”
“Where are you going to go?”
I stand up straight, grab my bag, and point, “Under that bed over there.”
I just purchased several cases of very expensive low-fat tuna. I am stacking them all up when Salem comes into the room.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Oh, I’ve decided to go on a diet.” I touch my little tummy, “I want to lose a few pounds.”
He looks at the rows of cans stacked three feet high and says, “Couldn’t you just eat less?”
I shake my head, “Why do you hate me?”
Salem looks at me and asks, “Why does our human look so glum?”
“Oh, she just found out she lost ‘Mother of the Year’ again.”
“That’s too bad. By how much?”
“Six votes,” I say as I look away.
“But there’s only five little humans.” He stares at me.
“My dinner was late three times last week, okay?!”