Salem’s Rant

I jump onto the bed to take a little nap and I see my little brother Salem already sitting there looking annoyed. He glances at me and starts jabbering away like I invited him to or something. Sheesh.

“Shorthair thinks she’s so cool now that she’s working,” he rolls his eyes at me.

“What does she do?” I ask.

“She’s a therapy cat part-time now.” He glares over at me, “Big deal. I give our little humans therapy for free all the time.” His paw flails in the air and spit flies out at me when he says this.

He continues, “I listen. I never judge.” He places his paw on his chest, “When the little girl human wore plaid with stripes I didn’t mew a word, not a single word. And remember the perm of 2017? Did I hiss or scratch? No, I did not.”

“You’re a regular saint, you are,” I nod at him.

“Bet your tail I am.”

I decided it might be more peaceful in another room and start to leave. As I’m walking away I still hear rumblings.

“Free back rubs, sweater fluffs, food tastings…”

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