Suffice it to say, I’ve been wavering between the Naughty and Nice list all year and with Santa Claws coming soon, I figure I need to do something to solidify my place on the Nice side. An amazing gift for my human just might do the trick. But what do I get her?
“Hey, Salem. What do you think we should get our human for Christmas?”
Salem’s mouth drops open, “We have to get her something?”
I blink a few times and then raise my right paw and bitch slap him. I bitch slap him hard. “Of course we do you numbskull.” Then I duck down and in my fastest auctioneering voice I blurt out, “If you want Santa to bring you treats you have to get her something so you’ll be on the Nice list and not the Naughty list so don’t slap me back I’m only trying to help you.”
He lowers his paw and I breathe again and stand back up.
“How about that old piece of string over there?” he motions toward the corner.
I restrain myself from slapping him again. “No, no. It has to be something she would love. Something special, beautiful, something extravagant.”
Salem’s eyebrows dip and he smiles, “Are you talking about yarn?”
Oh. My. God. How on earth does he get more dates than I do?
“Never mind. I’ll think of something myself.” I’ll get all the credit if I do it myself anyway.