#SometimesHeDoesItWithABritishAccent

Salem is hovering above our communal dish in the pantry when I walk up.

He stands at attention and points a paw to the dish. “We have a bold new beverage for your consumption today.”

I step closer and glance into the bowl.

He waves his paw over it and puffs out his chest, “It’s quite delicious. Audacious, if I may. It brings to mind a fragrant stroll in the green fields of exotic New Zealand. For your drinking pleasure.” He clicks his hind paws together and waves his paw again.

I lap up a small taste, raise my paw ever so delicately, and smack him across his head with it. “It’s water you chucklehead.” #PretentiousBastard #We’reCommonDomesticCatsAndDon’tYouForgetIt

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