Salem walks up to me all nervous today. “Hey, our human is calling us, shouldn’t we be going?”
I turn my head in the opposite direction of her voice, and stare at the wall.
Salem nudges me, “Hey, did you hear me? We have to go, she’s calling us.”
I hold up my paw, “You need to chill. We’re not going to run to her and wag our tails like a dog every time she calls us. We’re better than dogs, we’re cats.”
Salem shakes his head, “I don’t know. She’s calling. I can’t take it, I have to go see what she wants.”
I raise my paw and bitch slap him. “Get a grip! We have to show her who runs this house. Now turn and face the wall.”
“Oh,” Salem blinks, “Who runs this house?”
“We do. We run it, you idiot.” #Don’tRuinThisForMe #You’reADumbass #IAin’tNoDamnDogI’mACatAndCatsRule